Learning to remain silent may be just what you need in your life.
“The less you say, the more you are heard.”
Abigail Van Buren.
You may express your inner self in two ways: via actions and through words. The majority of individuals are noisy dreamers. They discuss their objectives with anybody who would listen. They crave social approval and anticipate the sense of success they will feel when someone acknowledges their “ambitious” aspirations.
If you’re one of those folks, I’m afraid I have some terrible news for you.
There is no action without a result. Miracles are created by what you do, not what you say. Every time you discuss your ambitions, you reduce their chances of success. Instead of being motivated by others, you are suffering at the hands of their compliments and your own internal notions of achievement.
Not to mention the bad comments from poisonous individuals. Never reveal your ambitions to those who are envious of you. They will simply obstruct your development.
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The False Sense Of Progress
It is natural to believe that discussing your objectives and making them a “social commitment” would increase the probability of them being met. This is true in certain circumstances, such as public dedication to a particular point of view. However, this does not apply to your identity-based ambitions.
Allow me to explain how it works.
According to Robert B. Cialdini and colleagues, publicly committing to a behavior (for example, “I am a productive person”) may help you regularly act in accordance with that declaration.
However, when it comes to your objectives, the story is a little different. A well-known 2009 research called “When Intentions Go Public” by Peter Gollwitzer of NYU reveals that revealing identity-based behavioral intentions might give you a false sense of achievement, lowering motivation.
In Gollwitzer’s study, law students were asked to rate their dedication using a questionnaire, and those who responded with high levels of commitment were divided into two groups. The researchers asked the first group to validate their responses and discuss their commitment. The second group kept their responses anonymous.
The researchers next allocated each group 45 minutes of work on legal matters. In the end, the group that publicly revealed their responses put in less effort and worked for much less time.
Always make an attempt to keep your future aspirations hidden. Making your ambitions known will simply deplete your creative energy. Sharing your intention to write a novel, for example, would most certainly offer you a false sense of achievement and prevent you from actually performing the job.
Because your brain sometimes fails to distinguish between words and actions, you should speak less and do more.
The Curse of Praise
We are all aware of the risks associated with hearing criticism. However, it has been discovered that being complimented might be damaging to your intrinsic motivation.
Apart from providing you a false sense of progress, praise might lead you to believe the wrong things about what has made you successful thus far.
According to a Reed College research titled “Effects of person vs process praise on student motivation: stability and change in emerging adulthood,” praising a personal feature rather than the method of achieving a goal may lead to lower motivation and productivity.
The study suggested a theory that works as follows: pretend you’ve just begun working on a new project and have made some progress. If you share it with your coworkers and they comment, “wow, you must be so brilliant!” you will lose drive. However, if people compliment your hard work and excellent tactics, you will remain inspired.
This occurs because when you hear someone laud a natural skill or underlying mechanism, such as luck, you will ascribe your achievement to that. You lose motivation when you don’t need to work hard because you are clever or really blessed.
The individual may have excellent intentions, yet their compliments may lead you astray. Avoid discussing your progress with those who will compliment your personality rather than your hard work.
Never Tell Your Opponent What Your Next Move Will Be
This one should go without saying. Never tell your adversaries or envious individuals what you intend to do. They’ll just find a way to bring you down with their harsh comments.
It’s a bad idea to share anything with someone who dislikes you. Avoid them and never tell them anything.
Vow of Silence
It may be too much to ask, but I venture to recommend that you take a Vow of Silence and keep your intentions hidden. It’s quite difficult to do (from personal experience), but it’s well worth it.
Deciding to communicate oneself by actions rather than words may be life-changing, especially if you are a talker like myself.
If I have persuaded you to go on this voyage of quiet, I have a pdf paper that can assist you. My Productivity Planner is available for download here. Because I created the pdf document for a more complete piece on productivity that I’ll be putting on my main website (One Billion Rule) shortly, it contains more than just a vow of quiet.
